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  • 5 months ago
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I’m finally going to write in my journal today. Right now.

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  • 7 months ago

Today hurts

As much as I rather not admit feeling upset, feeling this feeling of feeling nausea because no other emotion can describe my state, I feel it. 

It’s all in myself, and I have created this negativity within me. 

In my defense I don’t think I’ve created it as much as I have taken information and my own preconceived feelings and distorted them into a way that makes me want to quit. 

Quit what? I can’t—I don’t want to. 

But I can’t lie and say I have not imagined it. Imagined quitting. Because it’s always easier to quit, isn’t it?

I DON’T WANT. BUT I DO. 

I have become someone, I have entered a new stage in my life where things that I wish never mattered to me do. THINGS. 

I blame these things that have slowly crept over me above me under me.

Being someone who wants even her blinks to have a purpose, a meaning, when I feel lost in a situation…It burns. 

 I don’t believe I’m strong enough to withhold from these feelings anymore, these doubts.

I strive to be different, to be better than them!

This is when I am coming to face the reality in the matter. 

I am no different. You are no different. We are all no different.

But let me pretend that this isn’t so for a while longer…because today hurts. 

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  • 7 months ago
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  • 8 months ago
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  • 8 months ago
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  • 8 months ago
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  • 8 months ago
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  • 8 months ago
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boys who actually make plans

it doesn’t have to be elaborate 
i don’t care for fancy dates 
but if he says,
"hey let’s grab some coffee, my treat." 
"i need to buy a sweater, help me choose?" 
"i haven’t seen you in awhile, let’s go watch a movie."

it sounds totes better than 
"idk what do you want to do choose"  

Note taken

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  • 9 months ago
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  • 9 months ago
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I think as much as I’d like to avoid religion in my life I should realize by now that if anything, faith is really close to my heart. I run away from it because I have put new people and new responsibilities and new commitments in front of my relationship with God.
I still believe in you, I’m sorry I forget to make that known sometimes.
No one can take that from me.

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  • 9 months ago
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  • 9 months ago
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  • 9 months ago
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